The Juggling Act: Why Balance Matters and what is it?

Opening Story

It was National Day, and my children’s nursery had organized a full morning of activities for parents and kids. That day, I was scheduled to cover the pediatric section in the emergency room. So, with a heavy heart and feeling torn, I left my own children behind, knowing I had to care for others’ children.

During my shift, my colleagues noticed I wasn’t myself. When I shared my feelings, one of them said, “Go see the nursery. See your kids. Even five minutes with them means the world. Those moments may seem small to us, but to them, they are memories they’ll cherish, believe me, kids don’t forget and the department will run”

I spoke to my line manager, who kindly agreed to cover me briefly. Without hesitation, still wearing my ID, I grabbed my lab coat and stethoscope and rushed to the nursery. I found my firstborn crying, being comforted by a teacher’s assistant, while the other kids celebrated National Day with their parents. The smile that lit up my child’s face when they saw me was priceless.

I stayed only a short while, then returned to my shift, trusting my colleague to manage in my absence. Life went on. But three years later, my firstborn still tells me every National Day, “Mama, you came from the hospital to see me.” Kids don’t forget.

That day made me realize something important: by being a good parent, I become a better doctor. The love, patience, and empathy I nurture at home strengthen my care for the children I treat in the ER. Being present for my kids fuels my passion and compassion in my work.

This is one family’s experience. It does not tell us how every child will respond, or mean that parents who miss an event are less caring. The practical point is to agree cover and handover before leaving a shift; sometimes leaving will not be possible.

Defining Work-Life Balance

I believe work-life balance is different for every parent. It may mean time with family, rest after a night shift, exercise, or a little time alone. What is feasible also depends on childcare, finances, health, and the people available to help.

An evening off may be welcome when someone else can take over. For another family, a shorter break or sharing one household task may be more realistic. There is no fixed amount of personal time that makes someone a good parent or a good doctor.

For me, finding balance meant carving out that one moment where, after returning from it, I could be a better person, a better parent, and a better doctor. It’s the little, meaningful pockets of time and care that help us recharge and show up fully in all parts of our lives. This is why I’ve learned to stop chasing a perfect ‘balance’ and start cultivating personal ‘harmony’.

Common Myths and Real-Life Challenges

When I welcomed parenthood, someone who has mentored me since my medical school days said something that stuck: “Do not try to be you, Sabrina—the perfect doctor, the perfect parent, the perfect everything, like you want to be and have been taught to be—it’s okay to let go a little.” He told me, very frankly, that it is okay to delegate, to ask for help, and not to be a perfectionist. “Otherwise, you’ll burn out, and then you’re no use.”
His advice was blunt, but honest. Looking back, I see the truth in his words: it’s possible to do your best and succeed in your own way.

The advice to ask for help is worth keeping. The words “then you’re no use” are not a fair measure of anyone’s value. Needing rest or support does not make a clinician, or a parent, less worthy of care.

There will be missed events, unfinished jobs, and days when work takes more time than planned. Feeling guilty about a missed moment does not tell you what your child needs next. Ask what can be changed: a smaller commitment, a shared task, or a conversation about the roster.

Some pressures cannot be solved at home. A parent may have little control over shifts, limited childcare, or no nearby support. Advice to “make time” needs to acknowledge those constraints.

Why Finding Harmony Matters

Personal stories can explain what gives someone a sense of purpose. They cannot establish that a particular routine improves clinical performance or a child’s development.

There was a time when I thought about giving up medicine. The pressure felt overwhelming, and I questioned if I could keep going. But then one day, my firstborn proudly told his teacher, “Mommy saves people, she’s a doctor.” On my days off, he often asks why I’m not going to work. Moments like these remind me that being a physician is a privilege. My kids and husband look up to me, and that fuels my strength and purpose.

A 2023 US survey analysis found that supportive supervisors and enough time to complete work were associated with less reported burnout among health workers. It was observational and used self-reports; it does not prove that support prevents burnout, or that one family routine works for emergency physicians.

NIOSH’s workplace guidance asks leaders to address staffing, working conditions, and staff input into schedules. In practice, that means raising repeated late finishes, unmanageable workloads, or unavailable cover with the team responsible for them. Personal effort cannot substitute for a workable service.

Your Personal Commitment

Starting this series is a promise to myself and to every working parent out there: you don’t have to walk this path alone. I’m committed to sharing honest stories, practical tips, and real encouragement.

The suggestions below are practical options to adapt, not a tested parenting programme or a promise to remove guilt. Choose what fits your child’s age, your household, and the next set of shifts.

• Plan the next few shifts together. With whoever shares care, identify pickups, meals, and a backup if work runs late. If you parent alone, start with the support you actually have.
• Keep connection flexible. A short story, breakfast together, or a message may fit some days. Bedtime need not be the only opportunity. Agree what is realistic rather than promising a ritual you cannot reliably keep.
• Protect recovery time. NIOSH notes that childcare and other responsibilities can make rest between shifts difficult. When possible, agree who covers essential tasks while you sleep. A plan has to allow for your child’s needs and the help available.
• Ask for one specific change. For example, request a shift swap through the usual process or ask someone to handle one school pickup. Be clear about who has agreed and what happens if the plan changes.

Reflect & Connect

For the coming week, choose one priority and one realistic request for help. Revisit the plan when the roster or your family’s needs change.

Let me share a story that reminds me how help comes just when we need it. I was two days before my delivery date, very, very pregnant, when a severe polytrauma patient arrived, and part of my plan was to secure his airway. Picture this: my huge pregnant belly was between the patient’s head and myself. The nurses were amazing—they brought me a stool, called a doctor from another section, but I didn’t want to call too many people because everyone was so busy. As I was pre-oxygenating and preparing equipment, my junior colleague walked into the resuscitation bay and said with a friendly smile, “Doctora, get out of the way, you’ll go into labor. I’ll pass the tube and then take over.” He swooped in and handled it—then left.

The patient did very well in the end. That day reminded me that God watches over us and sends help in unexpected ways as long as we strive to do good. We don’t have to do it alone.

Help in the moment mattered in that story. For everyday planning, discuss cover and any work adjustments you need before a crisis. No one should have to prove commitment by carrying more than they can safely manage.

If pressure becomes hard to manage, consider speaking with a trusted colleague, your clinician, occupational health, or an employee support service where available. Ask about confidentiality and access.

Please share ideas or experiences in the comments if you wish, without identifying children, patients, or colleagues. A useful first step may be a practical request for help, at home or at work.